I'm
really not in the mood to write. These last few days have been tough,
but at this point I think enough time has past for me to acknowledge
that chasing my sorrows away with vodka and painkillers, hasn't made
anything better. So, against all urge, I've decided I should write
about the situation. This is not only for my own sake but also for
Jerry, because the great man that he was certainly deserves a eulogy.
Here it is:
Jerry,
I didn't get to know you quite as well as I hoped. We spent a lot of time together but we both know you weren't really the open or eccentric type. This was one of the things I dearly loved about you. I know that in your culture showing vulnerability is looked down on, so you decided to run instead. And I still feel somewhat guilty for not trying harder to stop you. I shouldn't have let you pick your own destiny.
Still what I'll remember and cherish forever are the great moments we had. They were never long but were always of great intensity. Although I only knew you for a few weeks I still always had the feeling that we understood one another tacitly. Like the time I got angry at you for sitting on the fridge, the very same fridge at which we met for the first time. Just one look from me and you understood I just needed some time on my own and left. Thank you.
Then there was the time I first met you and even I know that this moment will forever be among the most memorable in my life. It happened when I spotted you across that room, just sitting there on the fridge. You spotted me on the other side, sitting on the bowl. I was so excited to see you I got up a little too quickly, hit my head on the boiler and fainted. When I woke up you were gone but I knew: I met someone very special.
And now you are gone forever. Just like that. Because of one instant of weakness. You resisted the white powder for a long time. Kept your head straight! Then you couldn't help it anymore. You had to know. I've spent many sleepless nights hazed in booze, lamenting that I ever let that woman give it to you. Now it's too late and I'll have to live with what I've done. Carry my burden.
But I want you to know: You were the most special, intelligent, sweet and stronghearted mouse I ever got know. And don't forget: You were my first.
In loving memory
Your best friend
PS: Maybe my assumption that there was but one Jerry was a little naive. He's back...
Jerry,
I didn't get to know you quite as well as I hoped. We spent a lot of time together but we both know you weren't really the open or eccentric type. This was one of the things I dearly loved about you. I know that in your culture showing vulnerability is looked down on, so you decided to run instead. And I still feel somewhat guilty for not trying harder to stop you. I shouldn't have let you pick your own destiny.
Still what I'll remember and cherish forever are the great moments we had. They were never long but were always of great intensity. Although I only knew you for a few weeks I still always had the feeling that we understood one another tacitly. Like the time I got angry at you for sitting on the fridge, the very same fridge at which we met for the first time. Just one look from me and you understood I just needed some time on my own and left. Thank you.
Then there was the time I first met you and even I know that this moment will forever be among the most memorable in my life. It happened when I spotted you across that room, just sitting there on the fridge. You spotted me on the other side, sitting on the bowl. I was so excited to see you I got up a little too quickly, hit my head on the boiler and fainted. When I woke up you were gone but I knew: I met someone very special.
And now you are gone forever. Just like that. Because of one instant of weakness. You resisted the white powder for a long time. Kept your head straight! Then you couldn't help it anymore. You had to know. I've spent many sleepless nights hazed in booze, lamenting that I ever let that woman give it to you. Now it's too late and I'll have to live with what I've done. Carry my burden.
But I want you to know: You were the most special, intelligent, sweet and stronghearted mouse I ever got know. And don't forget: You were my first.
In loving memory
Your best friend
PS: Maybe my assumption that there was but one Jerry was a little naive. He's back...
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